Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
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He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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