I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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