Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
