The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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