I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
