you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
