WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you didnt know i had herpes?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
