We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
