Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
