its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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