Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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