Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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