sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
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woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize