we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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