I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
