They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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