im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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