Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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