drinking out of a sandbucket again
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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