Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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