if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
