Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
there was a trapeze. enough said
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize