we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
