the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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