Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
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debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
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Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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