Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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