just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
