I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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