Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
