This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
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i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
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I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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