shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
