Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
