I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
