Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
