I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
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I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
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I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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