Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
