She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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