So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
