hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
