I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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