Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
