the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Drunk is a universal language darling
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