i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
