when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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