He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
