You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
