I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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