i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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