I want to stick my p in your. b.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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