she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
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So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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