She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
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Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
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I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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