And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i think my cat just said my name.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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