Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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