I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
