What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
