at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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