it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i out mim tonsoeep
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