Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Watching her eat just hurts me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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