it hurts more in the daytime
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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