Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
