I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
