Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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